Of Friends and Hypocrites....

"The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for." - Homer

Someone once told me...hard times teaches us of who can be a real friend and who is a hypocrite. Well...i realized that recently. I know that nobody is perfect. But why is it so difficult for someone to be a good friend. It doesn't require much. Maybe i am being paranoid...but then that's me. I would treat all my friends like family with hope they do the same. Alas...many differ. Some backstab...some pretend...some hypocrite...some deceive. Hmm...but i am also fortunate to find some who is true.And these people i will cherish. I found these friends during hard times cos they stood by me, encouraged me and healed me with words of wisdom. It's amazing how these testing times can help determine our true friends but it does. Well...if not the saying "Friends in need are friends indeed" wouldn't have existed. I can't promise these special people anything but to be there for them...stand by them and help them with what i can. God works in mysterious ways...and this is the lesson i've learned today...

"True friends are two people who are comfortable sharing silence together."

Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?

Lose it all?

So maybe you can remember yourself.

Can't keep believing,

We're only deceiving ourselves .

And I'm sick of the lie,

And you're too late.

Couldn't take the blame.

Sick with shame.

Must be exhausting

to lose your own game.

Selfishly hated,

No wonder you're jaded.

You can't play the victim this time,

And you're too late.

You never call me when you're sober.

You only want it cause it's over,

It's over.

How could I have burned paradise?

How could I - you were never mine.

~E~

The truth is always more painful than a lie...

"We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why do we lie ? Because lie is a favorable answer when truth is what we don't want to face. Lie always hide whereas truth always reveals and there is no pain for hiding but there certainly is in revealing.We have a greater latitude in fashioning and tailoring our lies, which in turn feed forward into synthetic self-ishness, than we have in being honest and factual. It is most important to be "honest to God."Truth is about actions as well as words. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a situation where lie is not an option but need. Example when a relationship fails..and u just need that privacy to be silent for some time. I often read about the celebrities filing for divorce or going separate ways and i can't help but to think...why these matter need to be publisized...an then i come to an understanding that it's a price to be paid when you are famous. Maybe by that they face 'the truth' easier (even when it hurts) and go on with life. For lay people like you and me...sharing the truth may sometime be difficult especially if it is private & confidential....resulting in few white lies that we tell to cover up for a while till we have the guts to open up to others.Is this wrong ? The need to justify our actions shows we care that lying is NOT an option but due to circumstances we're forced to lie till we have the courage to unleash the truth that hurts...

"If you don't tell anyone, you can pretend it never happened, but as soon as you tell, it becomes a reality, and you have to face it."

Tribute to my dad...

17th of June...Father's Day. Memories of dad linger on my mind. The most excruciating painful experience I've ever had was losing my dad. He's been gone for 3 years now, and it's still very difficult to talk much about his death. His death has affected my life deeply. You see, it was quite unexpected. He was only 51 years-old when he died of brain tumor. Probably losing Dad hurt so much because he was very special to me. Dad's death has caused a void in many lives, but not so much as in the lives of his wife and two children. It has hurt us very much. The most !

It has been the greatest lost in my life but like Mitch Albom said "Death ends a life, not a relationship..." Dad will always have that special place in our heart even it'll never be the same. I dreamt of dad sometimes...as if he is still alive and nothing happened but then ..when i wake up..it's all merely a dream. Friends out there reading this...if you haven't talked to your dad for awhile, you had better get over there, or pick up that telephone, before it's too late. We were always told to believe that after losing someone...the memory will keep us alive. Yet...my heart aches and memories never seem to be enough. I want to hug my dad..i want to talk to him..i want to sleep beside him and mom..i want to be scolded by him... i want to see him smile...i want to see him.. see him in front of me alive...! It's not possible i know... sometimes not even my words can describe the pain in my heart.

Pa, I love you with all my heart, and I miss you so very, very much.....Happy Father's Day!

Six Degrees Of Separation ?

Six degrees of separation is the theory that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries. The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called "Chains."

We all know it's a small world: Any one of us is only about six acquaintances away from anyone else. Even in the vast confusion of the World Wide Web, on the average, one page is only about 16 to 20 clicks away from any other. We use "structural cues" in our local network of friends. "It's a collective phenomenon. Collectively the network knows how to find people even if no one person does.

Is this a fact or fiction ? You tell me...

Not Ready To Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

~DC~

Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. As such, friendship is undoubtedly central to our lives, in part because the special concern we have for our friends must have a place within a broader set of concerns, including moral concerns, and in part because our friends can help shape who we are as persons. Given this centrality, important questions arise concerning the justification of friendship and, in this context, whether it is permissible to “trade up” when someone new comes along, as well as concerning the possibility of reconciling the demands of friendship with the demands of morality in cases in which the two seem to conflict.

Why i decide talking about this now... is because i encountered a situation where the 'friendship' was sort of destroyed by 'love'. Can't elaborate much on that...but this is what i found somewhere which i'd like to share with you...

For Aristotle, there are three kinds of friendship based on three kinds of affection that unite people. First, in a friendship of utility, the affection is based on the benefit or use the friends derive from the relationship. Each person gets something out of the friendship that is to his advantage, and the mutual benefit of the relationship is what unites the two people.

Second, in a pleasant friendship the basis of affection is the pleasure one gets out of the relationship. One sees the friend as a cause of some pleasure for himself. This friendship is primarily about “having fun together.” The friends may listen to the same music, play the same sport, enjoy the same form of exercise, live in the same dormitory, or like to hang out at the same nightclub. The two people may sincerely care about each other and wish each other well in life, but what unites them as friends is primarily the pleasure or “good times” they experience together.

For Aristotle, the third form of friendship is friendship in the fullest sense. It can be called virtuous friendship because the two friends are united not in self-interest, but in the pursuit of a common goal: “the good life,” the moral life that is found in virtue. The problem with useful and pleasant friendships is that the emphasis is on what I get out of the relationship. However, in the virtuous friendship, the two friends are committed to pursuing something outside themselves, something that goes beyond their selfinterests. And it is this higher good that unites them in friendship. Striving side-by-side toward the good life and encouraging one another in the virtues, the true friend is primarily concerned not with what he gets out of the friendship, but with what is best for his friend and with pursuing the virtuous life with his friend.

So...which is yours ?

Helen Kellar once said 'relationships are like Rome -- difficult to start out, incredible during the prosperity of the 'golden age', and unbearable during the fall. Then, a new kingdom will come along and the whole process will repeat itself until you come across a kingdom like Egypt... that thrives, and continues to flourish. This kingdom will become your best friend, your soul mate, and your love.

It's true..relationships require time and effort.When things are going badly, couples tend to ask which of them is to blame, or which of them is atfault. 'Blame' and 'fault' are not very helpful words. It's better by far for both partners to acceptthat they have joint responsibility for the relationship and to agree that when they are having problems they should work at them together. Understand that every relationship is different. Don't compare the relationship to anyone else. Not your parent's, not your friend's, not your co worker's, not any other family member's, not that couple's relationship that seems perfect all the time, not anyone's, because that won't help!

Relationships are a two-way street, there should be two people involved. So you could do everything you possibly could do to make it work, but if the other person isn't putting in their very best effort (or at least some effort at all) then it won't work out. You both have to actively participate in the relationship and keep it positive to make it the healthiest and best that it can be. Every couple is different. There is no "right" way to make a relationship work (or a wrong way either). Every couple makes up their own love rules, love habits, love routines, love agreements, etc. Whatever works well for you two, works best for you two.Appreciate yourself and your partner.

~All the best ~

illegal by shakira & santana

I was listening to this song...and somehow felt like sharing it (the lyrics) with anyone reading this blog...

Who would've thought

That you can hurt me

The way you've done it

So deliberate

So determined

Since you have been gone

I bite my nails for days and hours

And question my own questions on and on

So..

Tell me now,

Tell me now

Why you're so far away?

When I'm still so close

But...

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry

You said you would love me until you die

And as far as I know You still alive... Baby

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry

I'm starting to believe

It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard

To be attentive

To all you wanted

Always supportive

Always patient

What did I do wrong?

Wondering for days and hours

It's clear, it isn't here

Where you belong?

Anyhow,

Anyhow I wish you both all of best

Hope you get along

~Shakira~