till death do us part...

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of heaven dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread

but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let eachone of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver withthe same music.

Give your hearts,

but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in eachother's shadow.

~By Kahil Gibran~

L.O.V.E

i was reading a friend's blog http://thinkinglonerider.blogspot.com/2006/11/i-have-loved-three-women-till-now-and.html and it made me thinking.

A lot of ink has been exhausted in writing about a variety of subjects like life, death, happiness, and grief. However, the one topic that has remained a favorite with authors, playwrights, poets, and laypeople alike has been: love. While there are those who have been fortunate in finding the love of their life, there are others who are still searching for that someone special. Which ever category you fall into, the allure of the perfect love life fascinates each of us.

It is true that while we can choose those whom we talk to and whom we like, we cannot choose those whom who we love. One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. The novelty, like the first drops of dew on an untouched leaf, of the feeling makes it special and unforgettable. Those who have suffered heartbreaks know that it takes a lot of effort to pick up the shattered pieces. Love can be tricky. First love is hard to forget. I know. I had a painful time getting over it...but when i think of it..it was a wonderful time..the first time falling in love..unfortunately it didn't work out...

Barring a lucky few, love manages to trick and elude most of us. Whether you have been fortunate enough to find true love. Love is like dark chocolate. Although it always leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth, you will still be tempted to take a bite the next time around. When we talk about love, words fail us. It is not that we cannot express; it is just that we don't find the right words to convey our truest emotion.

We learn from our own experiences. Often, our experiences turn out to be the most enriching moments of our lives. Given a chance, some of us would love to share the lessons that we have learnt. Like Mignon McLaughlin said "No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."

Friend or a Stranger...

This is just something i wanted to share ...


It's really amazing you know when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become strangers. People can be just best friends, but at one point or another, (for some situation) one of them will fall for the other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe, just maybe ... forever.

The thing is many say you can't be just friends with someone you love because a piece of your heart will always hope for more and you will just get hurt.Hmm...

Friends forever… that's what we are, through thick and thin, near and far. Memories we have of times we shared; no matter what, we always cared. Times have changed...now..
For all the friends out there.. dun be strangers and remember this :-

~Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely remember it's true, somebody somewhere is thinking of you.~

the sore september...

there's a song by Green Day - 'wake me p when september ends'. if only ....
i don't know about anyone else...but september is a month of pain for me. the month i lost my dad two years ago. how time passes...it's been two years now.

i received a letter from my sister today... she wrote something on the envelope that instantly reminded me of my dad. my heart just ached.the pain...i can't describe. maybe becos i was close to dad. she wrote 'terima kasih, posmen'. dad always asked us to write that whenever we send letters or cards to anyone. he says the postman helps us deliver the letter and the least we can do is thank him.

you might noticed most of my entry in this blog discusing about how i am dealing with life. my dad...i love my dad very much. too much. losing him was unimaginable but i had to accept the fact. my dad...i learned a lot from him. i am really fortunate to tell you. i had the most wonderful dad & have the most loving mom anyone can ask for. i know..like me...there's plenty out there...but i can't stop thanking God..

“You can shed tears that he is gone,

or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him only that he is gone,

or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

I love you dad...and i miss you soooo much...

did i marry the right person?

Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love withyour spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was acompletely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about theimagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standingthere; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's thenatural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone callsbecome a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (whenit happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if youthink about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference betweenthe initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marrythe right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria ofthe love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience withsomeone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame theirspouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity isthe most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, afriendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation afew years later. Because (listen carefully to this) :THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THERIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVERjust happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" itday in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, ittakes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specificthings you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), thereare also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exerciseprogram makes you physically stronger, certain habits in yourrelationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause andeffect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love happen.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Source : Email

God Put A Smile Upon Your Face...

Where do we go nobody knows?
Don't even say you're on your way down,
God gave you style and gave you grace
And put a smile upon your face...
~coldplay~

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly

Recently i came across this scenario: a friend who fell in love with three girls,but none worked. It made me thinking...

How many times have you truely been in love? Do you feel that true love never dies, that if your feelings change it was never actually love but infatuation you were experiencing? When did you first fall in love? Nobody can deny that when we fall in love with someone, the emotions we experience are very intense, and we feel wonderful and very happy. Sometimes you meet someone and feel at that time that you’re destined to be with him/her. He/She will be your everything, lover, companion, best friend, and soul mate. True love endures all and lasts forever. Love is something that can't really be defined. It's different for each individual. To me, you know you're truely in love when you can look ahead in time and you can't see your life without that person. When you leave the person's side and you instantly miss them. Being willing to do absolutely anything in your power for that person, and giving unconditionally without ever expecting anything in return. When you fall in love with someone it is usually not through your own conscious choice. Many times people fall in love with other people who are not really the best match for them..yet love accepts all. We feel like anything is possible, that there are no limits to what we can do together. We feel we can overcome all obstacles and we will live in a state of bliss forever.

True love is permanent and should last a lifetime...

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart. True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes. But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is going good. It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny....

listening from your heart!

One of the most difficult things to do in relationship is to listen--truly listen from your heart without blame, judgement or "you ought toos and you shoulds." It's also difficult to take the time to listen without allowing distractions to pull you away from what the other person is saying. It doesn't even matter if the person you are listening to is baring their soul or not, It's incredibly important to stay present, interested and focused on that person. All of us want to feel loved, respected and honored. And one way we have found to have this is to love, respect and honor someone else. We found that listening without interrupting the other shows respect and also builds trust. What a simple concept, but how hard it is to do. Something that is even more difficult to do is to listen to someone when it's uncomfortable to do so. When there are conflicts or resentments in a relationship that haven't been dealt with yet, there is an emotional charge that is present and that makes it difficult to stay focused on the present moment. In that time you're not really focused on the other person andwhat he or she is saying. You are focused on your emotions or your attempts to avoid pain. Another difficult situation is when you have preconceived prejudices and judgements of the person.Our judgements build walls even in the healthiest of relationships. When you are trying to listen to someone with whom there have been challenges, it requires you to listen with unconditional love in that moment. That doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say. But, it does mean forgetting yourself and your issues while they are talking. We are so quick to rush in and prove we are right, that all we do is create more distance.

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is to just listen with your heart. So this week practice listening and coming from love in your relationships. When you do, you'll see a difference.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it..

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable. I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you'll be in my heart.

The wounds of love can only be healed by the one who made them..

losing someone...

Losing someone close to you changes your entire world. The pain you feel will often times be different, depending on the type of loss you have suffered. Death is an amazing experience. It touches us in so many ways, yet until we experience the death of someone close to us, you don't fully understand how it can touch your life. You might wonder why I chose to write about death today. Unfortunately, my closest friend was touched by the death of her brother and I was reminded of the pain I felt when I lost my father. My own heart break that my friend have to suffer from the lost of her loved one because I know the pain all too well.You wonder sometimes if it is it better to have time to say goodbye or is it best for it to be unexpected. Neither one will suffer less grief because of the time associated with the departure of their loved one...