Not Ready To Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

~DC~

Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. As such, friendship is undoubtedly central to our lives, in part because the special concern we have for our friends must have a place within a broader set of concerns, including moral concerns, and in part because our friends can help shape who we are as persons. Given this centrality, important questions arise concerning the justification of friendship and, in this context, whether it is permissible to “trade up” when someone new comes along, as well as concerning the possibility of reconciling the demands of friendship with the demands of morality in cases in which the two seem to conflict.

Why i decide talking about this now... is because i encountered a situation where the 'friendship' was sort of destroyed by 'love'. Can't elaborate much on that...but this is what i found somewhere which i'd like to share with you...

For Aristotle, there are three kinds of friendship based on three kinds of affection that unite people. First, in a friendship of utility, the affection is based on the benefit or use the friends derive from the relationship. Each person gets something out of the friendship that is to his advantage, and the mutual benefit of the relationship is what unites the two people.

Second, in a pleasant friendship the basis of affection is the pleasure one gets out of the relationship. One sees the friend as a cause of some pleasure for himself. This friendship is primarily about “having fun together.” The friends may listen to the same music, play the same sport, enjoy the same form of exercise, live in the same dormitory, or like to hang out at the same nightclub. The two people may sincerely care about each other and wish each other well in life, but what unites them as friends is primarily the pleasure or “good times” they experience together.

For Aristotle, the third form of friendship is friendship in the fullest sense. It can be called virtuous friendship because the two friends are united not in self-interest, but in the pursuit of a common goal: “the good life,” the moral life that is found in virtue. The problem with useful and pleasant friendships is that the emphasis is on what I get out of the relationship. However, in the virtuous friendship, the two friends are committed to pursuing something outside themselves, something that goes beyond their selfinterests. And it is this higher good that unites them in friendship. Striving side-by-side toward the good life and encouraging one another in the virtues, the true friend is primarily concerned not with what he gets out of the friendship, but with what is best for his friend and with pursuing the virtuous life with his friend.

So...which is yours ?

Helen Kellar once said 'relationships are like Rome -- difficult to start out, incredible during the prosperity of the 'golden age', and unbearable during the fall. Then, a new kingdom will come along and the whole process will repeat itself until you come across a kingdom like Egypt... that thrives, and continues to flourish. This kingdom will become your best friend, your soul mate, and your love.

It's true..relationships require time and effort.When things are going badly, couples tend to ask which of them is to blame, or which of them is atfault. 'Blame' and 'fault' are not very helpful words. It's better by far for both partners to acceptthat they have joint responsibility for the relationship and to agree that when they are having problems they should work at them together. Understand that every relationship is different. Don't compare the relationship to anyone else. Not your parent's, not your friend's, not your co worker's, not any other family member's, not that couple's relationship that seems perfect all the time, not anyone's, because that won't help!

Relationships are a two-way street, there should be two people involved. So you could do everything you possibly could do to make it work, but if the other person isn't putting in their very best effort (or at least some effort at all) then it won't work out. You both have to actively participate in the relationship and keep it positive to make it the healthiest and best that it can be. Every couple is different. There is no "right" way to make a relationship work (or a wrong way either). Every couple makes up their own love rules, love habits, love routines, love agreements, etc. Whatever works well for you two, works best for you two.Appreciate yourself and your partner.

~All the best ~

illegal by shakira & santana

I was listening to this song...and somehow felt like sharing it (the lyrics) with anyone reading this blog...

Who would've thought

That you can hurt me

The way you've done it

So deliberate

So determined

Since you have been gone

I bite my nails for days and hours

And question my own questions on and on

So..

Tell me now,

Tell me now

Why you're so far away?

When I'm still so close

But...

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry

You said you would love me until you die

And as far as I know You still alive... Baby

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry

I'm starting to believe

It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard

To be attentive

To all you wanted

Always supportive

Always patient

What did I do wrong?

Wondering for days and hours

It's clear, it isn't here

Where you belong?

Anyhow,

Anyhow I wish you both all of best

Hope you get along

~Shakira~

till death do us part...

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of heaven dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread

but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let eachone of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver withthe same music.

Give your hearts,

but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in eachother's shadow.

~By Kahil Gibran~

L.O.V.E

i was reading a friend's blog http://thinkinglonerider.blogspot.com/2006/11/i-have-loved-three-women-till-now-and.html and it made me thinking.

A lot of ink has been exhausted in writing about a variety of subjects like life, death, happiness, and grief. However, the one topic that has remained a favorite with authors, playwrights, poets, and laypeople alike has been: love. While there are those who have been fortunate in finding the love of their life, there are others who are still searching for that someone special. Which ever category you fall into, the allure of the perfect love life fascinates each of us.

It is true that while we can choose those whom we talk to and whom we like, we cannot choose those whom who we love. One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. The novelty, like the first drops of dew on an untouched leaf, of the feeling makes it special and unforgettable. Those who have suffered heartbreaks know that it takes a lot of effort to pick up the shattered pieces. Love can be tricky. First love is hard to forget. I know. I had a painful time getting over it...but when i think of it..it was a wonderful time..the first time falling in love..unfortunately it didn't work out...

Barring a lucky few, love manages to trick and elude most of us. Whether you have been fortunate enough to find true love. Love is like dark chocolate. Although it always leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth, you will still be tempted to take a bite the next time around. When we talk about love, words fail us. It is not that we cannot express; it is just that we don't find the right words to convey our truest emotion.

We learn from our own experiences. Often, our experiences turn out to be the most enriching moments of our lives. Given a chance, some of us would love to share the lessons that we have learnt. Like Mignon McLaughlin said "No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."

Friend or a Stranger...

This is just something i wanted to share ...


It's really amazing you know when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become strangers. People can be just best friends, but at one point or another, (for some situation) one of them will fall for the other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe, just maybe ... forever.

The thing is many say you can't be just friends with someone you love because a piece of your heart will always hope for more and you will just get hurt.Hmm...

Friends forever… that's what we are, through thick and thin, near and far. Memories we have of times we shared; no matter what, we always cared. Times have changed...now..
For all the friends out there.. dun be strangers and remember this :-

~Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely remember it's true, somebody somewhere is thinking of you.~

the sore september...

there's a song by Green Day - 'wake me p when september ends'. if only ....
i don't know about anyone else...but september is a month of pain for me. the month i lost my dad two years ago. how time passes...it's been two years now.

i received a letter from my sister today... she wrote something on the envelope that instantly reminded me of my dad. my heart just ached.the pain...i can't describe. maybe becos i was close to dad. she wrote 'terima kasih, posmen'. dad always asked us to write that whenever we send letters or cards to anyone. he says the postman helps us deliver the letter and the least we can do is thank him.

you might noticed most of my entry in this blog discusing about how i am dealing with life. my dad...i love my dad very much. too much. losing him was unimaginable but i had to accept the fact. my dad...i learned a lot from him. i am really fortunate to tell you. i had the most wonderful dad & have the most loving mom anyone can ask for. i know..like me...there's plenty out there...but i can't stop thanking God..

“You can shed tears that he is gone,

or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him only that he is gone,

or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

I love you dad...and i miss you soooo much...

did i marry the right person?

Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love withyour spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was acompletely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about theimagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standingthere; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's thenatural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone callsbecome a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (whenit happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if youthink about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference betweenthe initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marrythe right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria ofthe love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience withsomeone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame theirspouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity isthe most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, afriendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

It lies within it.I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation afew years later. Because (listen carefully to this) :THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THERIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVERjust happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" itday in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, ittakes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specificthings you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), thereare also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exerciseprogram makes you physically stronger, certain habits in yourrelationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause andeffect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love happen.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Source : Email

God Put A Smile Upon Your Face...

Where do we go nobody knows?
Don't even say you're on your way down,
God gave you style and gave you grace
And put a smile upon your face...
~coldplay~

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly

Recently i came across this scenario: a friend who fell in love with three girls,but none worked. It made me thinking...

How many times have you truely been in love? Do you feel that true love never dies, that if your feelings change it was never actually love but infatuation you were experiencing? When did you first fall in love? Nobody can deny that when we fall in love with someone, the emotions we experience are very intense, and we feel wonderful and very happy. Sometimes you meet someone and feel at that time that you’re destined to be with him/her. He/She will be your everything, lover, companion, best friend, and soul mate. True love endures all and lasts forever. Love is something that can't really be defined. It's different for each individual. To me, you know you're truely in love when you can look ahead in time and you can't see your life without that person. When you leave the person's side and you instantly miss them. Being willing to do absolutely anything in your power for that person, and giving unconditionally without ever expecting anything in return. When you fall in love with someone it is usually not through your own conscious choice. Many times people fall in love with other people who are not really the best match for them..yet love accepts all. We feel like anything is possible, that there are no limits to what we can do together. We feel we can overcome all obstacles and we will live in a state of bliss forever.

True love is permanent and should last a lifetime...

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart. True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes. But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is going good. It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny....